New York better get ready!

So I leave tomorrow for New York and I am a complete ball of anxiety. I haven't been able to sleep too well in days because I am so afraid of what will happen to me when I'm away from Dustin. We haven't been a single day apart in over 2 years and I don't know if I can function without him. I may forget how to feed or dress myself properly. It's all very pathetic.

I've come to depend on him far too much. He's my number one source of entertainment! Thank goodness I have things to do and a lot of people to see when I get there. Otherwise I'd sit in bed all day and eventually become a vegetable. I know I'll probably be distracted all day by friends, family and the single fact that I'm back in the place I grew up in. It'll probably just have trouble going to sleep at night. But what else is new?

Despite all of this I am BEYOND excited to go back to New York. Especially since this will be the longest visit there since I moved in with Dustin over 3 years ago. Plus, I don't know the next chance I'll get to visit again. It's way too dang expensive to fly from Japan to NY. Don't do it. Unless you have to be a bride or a groom in a wedding there. Then you should probably show up.

I should be packing right now but I really don't want to. I started packing yesterday but got to a point where my suitcase was stuffed and I hadn't even packed my shoes or bathroom stuffs! Then I had a mini freak out party and walked away. I'm gunna have to take some stuff out and have Dustin bring it with him when he flies over on the 22nd. I always over pack but this time that's not the case. I actually counted exactly the right amount of clothing for a 6 week trip. Dustin suggested that I pack two weeks worth of clothes and just wash them and wear them 3 times.

I think he's losing his mind.

Wedding plans are....flowing. I guess. There are way too many bumps in the road for my liking. I will seriously never plan another wedding ever again. My kids can elope for all I care. I can honestly say that I HATE planning this wedding. No fun whatsoever. And people keep asking me if I have butterflies and if I'm all excited to get married. Uh...no. I'm stressed. I'm anxious because I have stage fright and I'm gunna stutter during my vows like there's no tomorrow. I'm excited for the reception party so I can finally eat what I want and dance like a maniac.

But getting married?? We're already married. And I didn't have butterflies the first time. I had stage fright and there was only like 8 people there! This time there's gunna be about 100 and I really don't know how I'm gunna handle everyone looking at me. Stupid Dustin doesn't have to walk down the aisle. He's so lucky. And THEN there's that first dance that's gunna be just awful. I would appreciate it if nobody watched that atrocity. We slow dance like we're in middle school. Lots of spinning around and stepping on toes. You will get dizzy just watching. And your feet will hurt.

I am looking forward to:
-Seeing the little sibs!!!
-Hanging with my Nana on the set of We Own The Night (more on that later)
-Being in Queens with my best friend since I was two, Jennifer
-Having real NY pizza
-Going to a mall since they don't have any here :(
-Visiting Green Street
-Cooking for younger bro, Dustyloo
-Chilling in Long Island with the cousinsssssss

Those things I'm the most excited for. And notice that they have nothing to do with the wedding. If I think about the wedding I start to dread my trip. And then I wanna eat cake but can't because of this stupid diet of trying to be healthy so I can still fit into my dress. Lame.

So the next time I post I will be in Queens! I plan on taking a lot of pictures on the way over. I have a layover in Tokyo for a few hours that I'm pretty physched for. Hopefully I don't get too lost.

And I don't know, maybe Dustin will feel the need to post about how he terribly misses his "Sweetie" (that would be me) and how he's forgotten how take care of himself without me being there. But probably not.