Blue drinks

One important thing you should know about me is that I don't do blue drinks. I don't trust them. What the hell is making it that color??? Nothing normal is bright crayon blue so there is no way I will consume anything blue. It's not natural. I cannot stress enough how freaked out I am when I see someone drinking blue drink.

This last weekend I went out with some girlfriends and much to my horror and distress, my friend Sasha did this:

Not cool Sasha. Not cool at all.

For Brittany and Randy

Some people have really missed my blogs and I admit, I've kinda missed writing them. How long has it been now?? I am sorry and will try to update this thing as much as I can now thanks to my sister's blog. I don't really have a choice since she claims she will kill me dead if I don't start writing again.

I kinda fell off the blog bandwagon for some reason. Once you start getting lazy it just turns into procrastination which only gets worse with time. I haven't written in my journal either which is a shocker to me since I love that even more and have had an abundant amount of wasted time to do so. *shrug* I don't know. I've been in an anti-writing funk the last few months, I guess.

A lot has happened since the last time I wrote. I feel like that was years ago. Dustin and I went on our honeymoon to Tokyo in February and it was everything and more than I could ever dream of. It was, by far, the best trip we've ever taken in our lives. We spent a lot of time in Disneyland (duh) and got the most out of our money by me graciously injuring my knee. If you follow me on facebook or talk to me at all, you know how we pulled that off. I did really injure myself...at first. haha

Dustin is away right now on his first (and hopefully last for at least awhile) deployment. It's been really hard on me since we've never been apart for this long. The first 3 weeks I cried pretty much every day. Now I'm kinda numb from it and even though I still get into my moods from time to time, I have no more tears left to cry. I'm all friggin' cried out.

We're halfway done with this loneliness and then my baby will come back to me in September. And oh, the joy that will be brought into the Santillan household once again! This has definitely turned out to be a hard journey. I've learned some things about myself though. I've learned that I don't enjoy being in the house by myself at all anymore. Any free time is spent watching movies on the computer and sleeping...a lot. I've learned that I cannot handle walking two dogs at the same time but somehow I'm managed it with limited pain to myself. I've also learned what amazing friends I've made here. They really have my back and without them I would be suffering a whole lot more.

So I've grown closer to the friends I have in the last 2 months, but I have also made some new life long pals. I met my new BFF, Michael, the weekend after Dustin left. He's friends with my good friend, Ivan, who I know from him coming to my job so often and because he's the tallest person on the island. He's kinda hard to forget. These two guys have been my weekend buddies every weekend since Dustin left. These are probably the first guys here I've felt really close to since leaving Idaho. It makes me miss all of those guys too. But when the 3 of us get together we just laugh forever and even if we end up at The Banyan Tree for the night we still have a blast.

Michael came into my life just at the right time. He really is my best friend here and it's been so much fun hanging out with him. He always makes sure I'm having fun when we go out and makes me laugh to the point of tears. He's also very protective of me which is pretty cute. If he sees a guy he doesn't know talking to me he'll come over and pull me away. He feels like its his job or something to make sure I'm looked after while Dustin is away. It's funny but it also makes me feel special in a way. The only issue I have is that he's moving back to the states in September and Dustin won't be able to meet him. It's very upsetting and I'm gunna bawl my eyes out when he leaves. I won't know what to do with myself after he's gone. I just thank God that he brought Michael into my life at such a tough time.

That's basically all that I've been doing. I'll post more when I get out and have some adventures. I have a few things coming up that I may write about. I'll also get back to posting pictures of everything. I feel accomplished having written this. Thanks Britt!

I love getting mail

Because sometimes you get unexpected presents from friends named Michelle who see a Playdoh ice cream maker and automatically think of you.

I also love getting mail because you sometimes get your $100 worth of Hanson merchandise earlier than expected.

And then you get to show off your new Hanson, zip-up hoodie.

And your comfy new Hanson shirt which actually doesn't say Hanson anywhere on it so no one will ever know.

And because you're a freak and like to plan years in advance, you receive the ever popular Hanson one-sie for your first born who hasn't even been planned yet. This is the first thing your baby will wear as soon as you poop him or her outta your vagina. Let the brainwashing begin!

Be friends with yeast. It won't bite

Did you know that aside from desserts, I can also bake up some yeast bread?? Well, I can. I started when I was 11? 12? 13? Mom, do you remember?? I was young though. And I haven't made any in a loooong while. I know I haven't made any since moving in with Dustin. Ooops.

So I made some a week or so ago (I'm really getting behind on my posts) and it came out perfectly beautiful and perfectly delish. Why are people so afraid of working with yeast? It's easy peasy.
This one is Garlic Rosemary Bubble Loaf and we managed to finish pretty much all of it before it got stale.

Yea, baby.

Did you guys know....?

That if you click on one of my pictures, you can view it much much bigger? I highly suggest you do so. Except with the ones of my face. I wouldn't appriciate that so much.

But the beautiful beach and palm tree pictures? Go for it. You'll be glad you did.

Unless everyone already knew they could do this and have been since the beginning. The pictures from my new camera show up a lot bigger when you click on them, then of the pics from my old poopy camera. Just so you know.

The love is just boiling in my heart as I write this

Ladies and gentlemen, I have a new obsession! And if you know me you also know that when I like something I realllllly like it. It completely consumes all my thoughts and many of my actions. Sometimes it's a just a faze but a lot of the time the obsession never goes away. Like the love I've always had for miniature things or all things Harry Potter.

Well, this new obsession I've gotten is actually a bit different. It's a person. His name is Mickey Rooney and I would like to marry him. If I was the age I am now but lived in the 1940's.

I caught Babes on Broadway last month on TCM and have been hooked since. I knew I liked Mickey Rooney before because he's the voice of Santa in some of my favourite Christmas movies of all time. But lordy, I had no idea he was more talented and wonderful than I could've ever imagined. He made me start up Netflix again.

And now I've got Rooney on the brain 24/7. I've rented a few of his lovely movies with Judy Garland from Netflix but am now taking a break. Not for me of course. I can't get enough. But Dustin's enjoying the movies as well and I don't want him to start to get tired of me squealing every time Mickey Rooney's goofy face appears on TV. Or on youtube. Thank you youtube!

Do yourself a favor, and please rent everything Mickey Rooney has ever done and watch the magic with me. If you enjoy Rupert Grint's face (Kelly) than I guarantee you will love Mickey Rooney. They're practically the same person. But different times. And Mickey can sing, dance and play piano and drums. So he's more talented. But basically the same person.

Also, go buy Pete's Dragon. It just came out on DVD and Mickey Rooney plays a crazy drunk old man which is basically playing himself.

Maybe go out and buy Breakfast at Tiffany's. He plays a stereotypical Asian landlord and it's very racist but still delightful. Actually, it's pretty awful. Maybe don't see this one.

Oh dear. I hope this crazy bastard stays alive forever.

Why is it that...

I can't, for the life of me, flip pancakes properly but for some bizarre-o reason I rock at flipping crepes??

You'd think that I'd be worse at flipping crepes because they're basically the thinner and more delicate version of pancakes. But apparently I'm awesome at producing 10 perfectly round and unbroken crepes. Me and pancakes just don't get along I guess.

By the way, I made crepes for Dustin for breakfast yesterday. And yes, they were awesome.

Welcome to breaktown

I've been in a total funk the last week or so. I guess it finally hit me that I won't be seeing any of my friends or family for a very long time. I don't even know the next time I'll be seeing anyone. It's been making me very sad. I went from hanging out with my friends and seeing my family every day to sitting alone in the house every day looking for something to do until Dustin comes home to entertain me. And he is good entertainment but he's pretty much the only person I talk to.

I miss everyone a lot and I can't seem to find anything that'll cheer me up when I'm alone. I'm too bored. Being bored causes me to start thinking too much about people I miss and then I just sit around like a vegetable because nothing sounds fun. I've done nothing productive whatsoever and I don't really wanna do anything.

I am working on getting myself out of this awful mood. I've been baking which calms down my anxiety a lot and I've been watching Conan O'Brien constantly on hulu.com. Those things are the only things that make me forget how sad I am. I also updated my jobs application the other day so fingers crossed that I get the job that I really want. I wont settle for any boring job that's just gunna make me more miserable.

Tomorrow is Dustin's 25th birthday and unfortunately, he has to work. But I'm making him a special old man dinner and some Mountain Dew cupcakes. Then I'm making him take the rest of the cupcakes to work so I don't eat 10 a day. I've been eating too much cake lately. It happens when you like to bake but no one's there to eat the final product but you. It's a problem.

As soon as I get myself completely outta this funk I'll be blogging a lot more. After raining for about 11 days straight, the weather is finally beautifully perfect and we've been able to finally enjoy the beaches Okinawa has to offer. Good weather also means many fun outdoor events and festivals going on here. The fourth of July is looking extremely promising this year.

Don't worry about me folks! I'll get over this eventually. I always do. It's nothing that the beach and a manicure can't cure.

Sometimes I think I'm losing my mind

This morning I got up to go pee and I swear to God, I thought there was a tiny baby shark on my bedroom floor.

I stared at it for the longest time waiting for it to move...or swim away or something.

Then I bent down and blew at it. It moved across the room and that's when I realized that it was just a tuft of lint.

Then I took a picture of it to post a blog about.

Mmmhmmm. Going bonkers.

Back on Asian soil

I got back to Okinawa two nights ago and I am happy to be home. It was a sigh of relief when we realized that we actually missed this place. It's pretty damn wonderful here and it totally feels like home. Our house, on the other hand, doesn't feel right. It doesn't suit us and just doesn't feel exactly homey. Kinda depressing but we'll get over it. We don't plan on living in this place the entire time we're here in Okinawa.

I blogged a grand total of ONE time during my trip. I was too busy and stressed to be bothered at all. So I will try to blog as much about the trip (that I can actually remember) as possible in the next couple of weeks. I'll probably just do a bunch of short-ish blogs about various things. And then a giant post about the whole reason we went to NY in the first place. Our wedding. I have quite a few pictures as well that I need to upload.

Besides all the stress of the wedding, I had an amazing time. It was so nice to be in New York for over a month and see basically everyone. I got to see people I haven't seen since I got kicked out and I got to hang out with some friends that I've kept in touch with the most. I learned how to ride the subway(finally) all by myself and did some majorly touristy things that us New Yorkers usually don't bother to do. I got to spend time with both my families and see them meet and interact with each other for the first time.

I guess I am glad we did this. I still don't wanna ever do it again and I still don't think planning a wedding is worth all the stress I went through. I ended up hating so many people in all of this as well. I even got to that point where I completely broke down and was screaming and hysterically crying at Dustin in the car, saying that I totally regretted my decision to have the wedding. It got that bad. The ceremony was beautiful and the reception was a total blast but had I known ahead of time all the crap I would go through to get there I wouldn't have had the thing at all.

But it was nice to see all of our friends and family together in one place and having fun. My main goal for the wedding was for it to be the best party I've ever thrown. And I think I accomplished that. Only little bro Brandon had a crappy time because he was overly tired and the music was making his head hurt. :( I felt pretty bad for him but I wished he had at least danced with me once.

Since we've been back:

-I scolded Dustin for leaving the house a mess and then proceeded to stress over how gross things were
-We found that, in our absence, ants AND ticks have taken over our house
-We haven't gotten Apollo back from the kennels yet because they have retarded hours. But we will be reunited in about an hour and I cannot wait!
-We bought a set of orange Rachel Ray cookware and I also passed out from the excitement
-We opened the gifts that people sent us from our Target.com registry and then I totally passed out from the excitement of even more brand new kitchen supplies
-It's waaaay more humid here than I could've ever imagined
-I've been waking up early and then getting sad because I miss the Littles and my Idahomies
-I've been having spurts of overwhelming excitement over the thought of our Tokyo Disney honeymoon (we may take a cruise as well!)

Now I gots to do some laundry and get ready for my Apollo to come home to me. Until laterzzzz.

I totally suck

I've been obsessed with this blog since starting and couldn't get through a week without posting at least 4 or 5 times. All that has changed since I landed here in New York two weeks ago. I have been busy with wedding plans and seeing friends and family.

I've also been too lazy to post. It never seemed like the right time. I have so much to write about and don't even know where to start. My brain has been all over the place since getting here and my anxiety and stress is through the roof. Things will get better once Dustin gets here in 6 days. He's good at calming me down just by being in the same room as me. I've been counting down the days until his arrival since I walked away from him at the Okinawa airport to go through security.

My flight here wasn't too bad. The first two went perfectly well and my neighbor sitting next to me from Tokyo to Washington D.C. was a delight. Thank goodness. But once I got to Washington D.C. all that changed. They cancelled my flight and I had to spend the night there. I was fine with this since I was deliriously tired from not sleeping for about 30 hours. When Dustin called me at the Sheraton later that night I kept telling him that I wasn't even tired and that I was thinking about going down to the 24 hour gym downstairs. He assured me that I was actually tired and needed to sleep. He turned out to be right. I was asleep as soon as I laid down.

The lame thing was, the flight from D.C. to NY was only 30 freakin' minutes long!! Lame.

Wedding plans are almost complete but until it's over I will not be calm. This wedding business is just too much for me. After this week I will feel a lot better since the seating chart will be handed in along with the final payment for the Astoria World Manor. Then we will be poor. But at least I'll be able to finally breathe. Maybe I'll even get excited for the wedding. Maybe not.

I'm more excited to see family. And to observe how my family and Dustin's family interact. I will be spying on them from a nearby bush.

New York better get ready!

So I leave tomorrow for New York and I am a complete ball of anxiety. I haven't been able to sleep too well in days because I am so afraid of what will happen to me when I'm away from Dustin. We haven't been a single day apart in over 2 years and I don't know if I can function without him. I may forget how to feed or dress myself properly. It's all very pathetic.

I've come to depend on him far too much. He's my number one source of entertainment! Thank goodness I have things to do and a lot of people to see when I get there. Otherwise I'd sit in bed all day and eventually become a vegetable. I know I'll probably be distracted all day by friends, family and the single fact that I'm back in the place I grew up in. It'll probably just have trouble going to sleep at night. But what else is new?

Despite all of this I am BEYOND excited to go back to New York. Especially since this will be the longest visit there since I moved in with Dustin over 3 years ago. Plus, I don't know the next chance I'll get to visit again. It's way too dang expensive to fly from Japan to NY. Don't do it. Unless you have to be a bride or a groom in a wedding there. Then you should probably show up.

I should be packing right now but I really don't want to. I started packing yesterday but got to a point where my suitcase was stuffed and I hadn't even packed my shoes or bathroom stuffs! Then I had a mini freak out party and walked away. I'm gunna have to take some stuff out and have Dustin bring it with him when he flies over on the 22nd. I always over pack but this time that's not the case. I actually counted exactly the right amount of clothing for a 6 week trip. Dustin suggested that I pack two weeks worth of clothes and just wash them and wear them 3 times.

I think he's losing his mind.

Wedding plans are....flowing. I guess. There are way too many bumps in the road for my liking. I will seriously never plan another wedding ever again. My kids can elope for all I care. I can honestly say that I HATE planning this wedding. No fun whatsoever. And people keep asking me if I have butterflies and if I'm all excited to get married. Uh...no. I'm stressed. I'm anxious because I have stage fright and I'm gunna stutter during my vows like there's no tomorrow. I'm excited for the reception party so I can finally eat what I want and dance like a maniac.

But getting married?? We're already married. And I didn't have butterflies the first time. I had stage fright and there was only like 8 people there! This time there's gunna be about 100 and I really don't know how I'm gunna handle everyone looking at me. Stupid Dustin doesn't have to walk down the aisle. He's so lucky. And THEN there's that first dance that's gunna be just awful. I would appreciate it if nobody watched that atrocity. We slow dance like we're in middle school. Lots of spinning around and stepping on toes. You will get dizzy just watching. And your feet will hurt.

I am looking forward to:
-Seeing the little sibs!!!
-Hanging with my Nana on the set of We Own The Night (more on that later)
-Being in Queens with my best friend since I was two, Jennifer
-Having real NY pizza
-Going to a mall since they don't have any here :(
-Visiting Green Street
-Cooking for younger bro, Dustyloo
-Chilling in Long Island with the cousinsssssss

Those things I'm the most excited for. And notice that they have nothing to do with the wedding. If I think about the wedding I start to dread my trip. And then I wanna eat cake but can't because of this stupid diet of trying to be healthy so I can still fit into my dress. Lame.

So the next time I post I will be in Queens! I plan on taking a lot of pictures on the way over. I have a layover in Tokyo for a few hours that I'm pretty physched for. Hopefully I don't get too lost.

And I don't know, maybe Dustin will feel the need to post about how he terribly misses his "Sweetie" (that would be me) and how he's forgotten how take care of himself without me being there. But probably not.

Rambles and such

So, I haven't posted in over a week. I've been anxious about leaving for New York in 4 days and it makes me super exhausted. I got on the computer numerous times to write but then would throw a mini temper tantrum and say to myself, "But I don't WANNA!" And then I would just walk away and sit in front of the T.V. for hours trying not to eat everything in my kitchen.

I feel much better now even though the anxiousness is getting worse the closer it gets to Friday. Dustin and I haven't spent a night apart since I got back from England almost 2 1/2 years ago. Even when we had our Bachelor/Bachelorette parties, we still went home together. We actually left the parties before anyone else but that's a whole other story that I don't like to re-tell or even think about.

But anywho, here's an update on things in our lives:

-Apollo is shedding more than ever and it's driving me crazy. I don't know where all this hair is coming from. How is he not bald yet?! I can't wait until the spring is over and he goes back to normal shedding and I can go back to sweeping the floor every other day instead of twice a day.

-Dustin and I have discovered Fuze drinks and now are super obsessed with them (mainly me)

-Dustin wore sweat pants in public yesterday much to my horror

-I apparently really like working out. I know...it's basically against everything I stand (or sit) for. I usually don't even like moving but will spend an hour on a treadmill happily and then be ready for more. Dustin's been my trainer the last few days which means he tells me what to do at the gym (because those machines are completely alien to me) and how long to do it. And then he laughs at me straining and wondering why my forehead is wet.

-My abs are burning from my workouts so I'm trying not to laugh as much but it's proving to be very difficult

-I explained what things need to be cleaned in the house to Dustin while I'm gone. He just looked at me. Somehow I think nothing will get done.

-Anoop Desai got booted from American Idol and we were sad but knew that it was his time

-I'm on this new diet where I try not to eat desserts for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Hide your sugar from me when you see me!

That's about it. We lead fairly boring lives. I will post about this weekend later on today. How have you guys been doing?

Smile today!

I can read minds when I want to

Last night Dustin starts to randomly laugh to himself.

T: What the hell are you laughing at?
D: I'm thinking of...something from 30 Rock.

I take about 2 seconds to think and then I start to sing,

Werewolf bar mitzvah, spooky scary. Boys becoming men. Men becoming wolves.

D: How did you know?!
T: I know you.

Just so you know, this is about the 52nd time I've known exactly what's on his mind. It impresses even me sometimes.

If your life were a tv show, this would be it

Last night I watched the episode of Degrassi where Rick goes and shoots up the place. I hadn't seen it in awhile so I had all the same reactions I had the first time I saw it.
Now, if you've ever watched Degrassi with me you'd know exactly how I react. I can't just sit still and watch it. It involves a half hour of me gasping, screaming, laughing hysterically, rolling on the floor and jumping at the tv. It gets out of control sometimes. Last time was no exception. And I've seen this episode about a dozen times already! I'm glad it still has that affect on me but I wish Kelly or Mike were there to watch it with me. I used to call Kelly whenever a new episode was on and we would try to get through it all together. I would have to watch the same episode about 3 more times after that to actually understand what was going on. We yelled so much, we would miss moments of the show here and there. Good times.

And Degrassi will never be anything less than 100% intense. Oh my Lordy, I love this show. Someone please buy me all seasons but 3 on DVD so I can have a heart attack watching them.

The Lakeside Collection

I found out about The Lakeside Collection from Dustin's Nana back in November when we were visiting Arizona. I looked through the catalogs she had and was amazed that everything was so cute and cheap. She let me have one of the catalogs and when we moved her and got our computer back, one of the first things I did was order some things for the house. It was verrry cheap. Like this bench I got:

I put it by the front door so when we come in we can sit down and take off our shoes so that we dont track in dirt and grass. Smart, right? Well, it would have been if it wasn't such a piece of crap. It was cheap for a reason. It's made cheaply. Lakeside Collection is like the Wet Seal of home goods. It's pretty terrible. I built this bench which was easy until I realized that the screws didn't actually screw into anything. You just sorta place them into the already made holes. Lame. The whole thing is made of really cheap, flimsy wood so noone is allowed to sit on the bench. It actually bends under the tiniest bit of pressure! Its really bad. Pieces are starting to come off now and that's without us even touching it! But I like the way it looks right now so I'm not getting rid of it just yet.

I feel so used. We also got two 6 foot long towels which we were really excited about. Also cheap. They are in no way absorbent. You try to dry off and they just push the water around on your skin. After I washed them the first time they almost fell completely apart. Now they are covered in little fuzz balls.

The moral of the story is: Don't buy anything from The Lakeside Collection unless you enjoy wasting your money on poop!

The Little Mermaid

I remember as a kid acting out The Little Mermaid every time I took a bath. I was Ariel and Prince Eric (hottie) was nonexistant. And I would splash water all over the bathroom floor as I "swam" to "shore" and screeched what few words I knew to Part Of Your World. Good times.

March 26, 1990

The Little Mermaid's "Under the Sea" Wins Oscar for Best SongThe baritone vocalist Samuel E. Wright — who won the role of Sebastian solely through a taped demo of the song he had sent to producers — sang this jubilant finger-snapper inspired by the Caribbean style of Calypso music. The song, composed by Disney Legends Alan Menken and Howard Ashman, is also a rousing highlight of the Broadway musical version, though because Tituss Burgess, who plays Sebastian, is a tenor, the key of the song was raised from B-flat to D

Japanese children are so damn cute!

Happy St. Patty's Day!!

I'm not Irish in the least bit but back in the day my mom would make us corned beef and cabbage for St. Patty's Day. One year I decided to help by making green biscuits. The younger siblings werent too keen on eating those. Only Brittany who, at that time, ate everything. And very slowly. And created artwork with her food because she's just always been creative like that. Dustyloo and I hated it though because we werent allowed to be excused until everyone was done eating. Stupid Brittany.

So, today I plan on making corned beef and cabbage for the first time ever. It seems easy enough so I should be fine. I'm mostly better at baking because thats what I prefer to eat but sometimes I hit gold with dinner. Dustin's better at making up recipies though. He actually has award winning chili. Sure, it was PMEL award winning but thats still pretty good since it was his first time ever making chili. And it was hella good people. Oh my word, was it good.

I'm also making green biscuits because I have green food coloring and because I can.

I found a new favourite food blog! http://www.joythebaker.com I found it this morning somehow and I've been looking through it all day. Its amazing. I have a new obsession with food blogs. And every time I find a new one that I really really like, its like getting a brand new cook book filled with beautiful pictures. Its like a gift from the Universe for being so amazingly Tara.

These amazing blogs are going to help with my planning of THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!! What's that? You mean you havent heard of my plan for the most amazing Christmas ever? It started on Christmas day '08 which was ranked the WORST CHRISTMAS EVER by T&D Santillan. We spent it without friends and family in a hotel room eating cup of noodles and watching season 2 of 30 Rock. Oh, and I had an allergy attack all day that made me wanna die. It was pretty dreary. So we decided to make this next Christmas beyond amazing. Even though our friends and family wont be here. We may have made friends here by that point. Maybe.

This blog will help too: http://www.hostessblog.com So maybe we'll have a party or something. I deffinetly wanna have one now after looking through this blog. Gah...I need friends here so we can have parties!