Tara's Wedding Tips & Things You Should Be Aware Of

-First off, don't attempt to plan a wedding that is all the way on the other side of the world. It just makes life that much more difficult.

-If you don't have boobs, don't expect any dress to fit right and totally don't expect any bra to stay up.

-Have a backup best man because your first choice may decide to ruin your life when he tells you a week before the wedding that he may not be able to make it. Then tell you 6 days before the wedding that he's totally gunna be there because it's your special day and he really needs to be there for you. And THEN he'll tell you 5 days before the wedding, that he wasn't able to find any plane tickets in his price range and (surprise surprise) he actually cannot make it to the wedding.

-Expect most people to be late to the wedding and even totally miss the whole dang ceremony.

-People will assume you know what your doing and will want you to tell them what to do and where to go. Appoint your mother-in-law to take control of such things. She handles large groups better.

-If you have people flying in from outta town, make sure they know what they are getting themselves into. Maybe send them some travel books beforehand. Or find a youtube video of people driving in New York.

-If you decide to have a day of sight seeing with both families, be sure to bring a friend along to keep you partially sane. Make sure her name is Kelly Braun.

-Expect chaos no matter what.

-Write things down. Make lots of lists of things to do, people to call and things you still need to pay for. It helps. A LOT.

-Don't kid yourself with the idea of a "bride diet". You'll start restricting sugar and then totally cave and eat more desserts than you ever have in your life. Just don't bother.

-Arrange to have an all night open bar at your wedding. Your guests will adore you for it. Plus, you'll need it.

-There will be at least one thing you'll regret or be disappointed about when you think back on your wedding day.

-Be prepared for your flower girl to have stage fright and almost back out of her duties.

-Heh...duties....

-Don't get your makeup professionally done unless you honestly suck at that kinda thing. Just go to a Sephora and buy Urban Decay's Eye Potion, Smashbox's Photo Finish, Benefit's Benetint, and a few Sephora brand eyeshadows and you're set. Then cry cause you just spent hundreds of dollars in one shot.

-Take multiple breaks from planning and go to a few BBQs and bars. Also, go see Star Trek. I insist.

-People won't RSVP because they are THAT damn lazy and want to ruin your life.

-As the big day draws near you will start to really lose your mind. You will hate everyone and think that everyone is out to get you and ruin your wedding on purpose. You will begin to compose a list of all the family and friends that are adding to the stress, and how you will kill them. Then you will laugh manically at the thought as your husband(fiance) tries to rub the knots out of your back.

-You will break down at least once. And it will not be cute.

-Buy the Bridal Bargains books. Oprah likes them and so does Tara.

-Buy an accordion folder to put all your important papers in.

-Expect members of your bridal party to not hear a word you say. Ever. You will have to repeat things over and over and over.

-Maybe avoid putting people with ADD in your bridal party.

-Appoint one of your ginger sisters to help you go to the bathroom without her knowing beforehand. Then walk over to where she's sitting and announce that she needs to hold your dress up while you pee. She'll be ever so grateful.

-Expect peeps that RSVPeed (hehe) to not show up. But don't be mad because they'll have valid excuses such as, "My grandfather just passed away" or "I was in the hospital with pneumonia".

-Your British "Spare Dad" will make everyone nearly cry with his amazingly personal and heartfelt speech during the ceremony. Hold it together girl!

-You will step on your wedding dress too many times to count. Other people will step on it as well and you will yell at them no matter who they are.

-Wedding day is actually Sigh of Relief day. Once the ceremony is over all you gots to think about is having fun and drinking vodka cranberries.

-Day after wedding day feels weird. You'll have nothing to think about. Your brain will actually be empty. You'll wake up feeling refreshed and awesome for the first time in over a year. Your muscles and joints will miraculously be healed. Your head will stop throbbing for the first time in a week. You won't hate people anymore. Life is good again.