What I miss the most is you

Being away from Dustin for 3 weeks sucked major balls. It was just as bad as I thought it would be. During the day I was perfectly fine. Yea, I still missed him but I had many many distractions to keep me from getting too depressed.

But at night...that was the worst. I was used to having Dustin sleeping right next to me every night for the past two and a half years. Then, all of a sudden, I was in a different bed and he wasn't there. I cried myself to sleep the first week and I barely slept over 4 hours a night. It was pretty pathetic.

Things got better once we got the calling schedule down. Dustin would call me before he went to work on the weekdays which was about 4pm New York time. Then he would call me before he went to bed at night which was about 8 or 9pm NY time. On the weekends I didn't know when he'd call but I knew I'd be able to talk to him longer. It was a good system. But it didn't change the fact that he wasn't physically with me.

I had to handle a lot of the last minute wedding planning myself. I handled all the RSVPs and getting in touch with people that hadn't gotten in touch with me. I also did the guest list and seating chart. Jen, my maid of honor, helped me with the place cards, thank goodness. But I had to handle all my stress by myself. Without Dustin being there to hold me and comfort me and take care of things. I wish I could be like him and never get stressed over anything. My life would be so much simpler. And I wouldn't need Dustin as much.

It wasn't until Dustin got to NY and we were reunited, that I truly realized how much I really missed him. It sounds pretty lame and cheesy but, when he got there I felt as if there was a piece of my life restored to me. As if there was something totally missing in my heart and I didn't even realize until I had it back and thought to myself, "Oh wow, this is what it feels like to be happy."

I wasn't too surprised though. He is, after all, the love of my life and my ultimate best friend. All I have to do is think of his face and my world feels completely at peace and under control. I honestly don't think there's a single person out there that would be better for me. No one else in the world could make me this happy and content. No one understands me the way he does and I don't think anyone ever will. He's pretty much perfect.

Except he stinks nearly all the time.